i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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