shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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