I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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