Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize