weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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