idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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