whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
