dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
