I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Randomize
