gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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