I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize