Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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