i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
