i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
