I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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