I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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