Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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