Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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