all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
