Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
