She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
