Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
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You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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