Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
