I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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