so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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