this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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