Will you blow on my dice?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize