My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
