Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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