We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize