Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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