its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
