Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
