we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
