She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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