would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
