i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
