Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind