What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
