so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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