how can u be prego again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
