i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found puke in my bra..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
