She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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