we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
