You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
did i just pee glitter
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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