forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
