i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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