Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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