when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
