Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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