I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
