oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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