Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
