He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
