I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
