I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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