return my video game
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
