I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
