Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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