I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
