We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
