I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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