We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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