Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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