My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
