dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
