He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
