the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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