I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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