is your mom at the bar?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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